Saturday night fun
by Miss Charz
Summary: Grant, Jonas, Nick and Zach. Seven awful pick up lines. Four male spies. One club. A hell of a Saturday night...  Rated T for language...


Seven _awful _pick up lines. Four male spies. One club. A hell of a Saturday night.

"Okay, so here's the challenge: I've got seven envelopes, each containing a pick up line. This pick up line must be used on one unsuspecting female individual, who will be chosen by the three remaining operatives. Failure of use of said pick up line results in $20 being thrown into the pile. At the end of the night, the operative with the most successes wins the money."

The four twenty-two year old guys walked into Club La Vida confident, cocky and relatively carefree. That Saturday night was theirs to spend as they liked, and so, inevitably, Grant had suggested they go out to a club.

It was Nick who made the pick up line competition part of the night. Jonas had firmly disagreed, but was outnumbered three to one.

"So… when does this start?" asked Nick, thoroughly enjoying himself.

"As of now," replied Zach, walking to the bar and buying four beers.

The guys took seats on stools at a high table and surveyed the room.

"Uh, I gotta pee. I'll be back in a mo," Grant said, before walking off.

"Charming…"

Jonas sipped gingerly at his beer, not particularly enjoying the moment.

"Can we get this over and done with?" he asked, nervously.

"Aww, is our little JoBro nervous?" cooed Zach, sarcastically.

Jonas shot him an irritated look.

"_No, _and I told you not to call me that!"

Nick cleared his throat, breaking up their little tiff.

"Shall I go first?" he offered.

The two guys nodded, and Nick pulled some crumpled envelopes out of his jean pocket.

He chose a random one and broke open the seal.

"Oh, god…" he muttered, as Jonas and Zach smirked.

Right then, Grant reappeared and read the line over Nick's shoulder.

He laughed. "Okay, so we're starting with the insults? Way to make a girl feel insecure. They always come running back to you later…"

Zach didn't ask how Grant knew this, he wasn't entirely sure he _wanted_ to know. He just stared at his best mate and shook his head, then shoved Nick towards a rather chunky, blonde-haired girl sitting with some same-sized friends.

Nick cleared his throat and strode confidently over to her.

"Hey there, what's a big girl like you doing in a small place like this?" Nick asked the girl, leaning one hand on the back of her chair.

A few minutes later, he sat back with his friends, an icepack on his bleeding nose and throwing twenty bucks into the middle of their table.

"Fuck, that girl has a mean punch!" Nick exclaimed furiously. "That pick up line wasn't really a pick up line anyway!"

Grant just shrugged.

"Zach should be next," Jonas said, swirling his barely-touched beer.

"No, I'm not pissed enough, yet. It's Grant's turn," countered Zach.

Grant's eyes widened, but he picked up an envelope and slit it open. His face turned to an amused smirk as he stood up.

"Which chick, now?" he asked, following the rules.

Nick lowered the ice-pack and squinted to two women sitting at the bar, the other side of the dance-floor.

Grant was off in an instant, headed for the curly-haired, red-head.

The three remaining guys heard Grant through the comms Zach had snuck onto his shirt.

"I lost my teddy bear; will you sleep with me instead?" Grant's voice was clear through the little speaker. He was leaning close to the disgusted-looking girl.

She turned her back to him, but he leaned closer and tried the line again. This time, her friend threw her martini at Grant's face. He got the message and stalked back to the table where the guys wee laughing silently, unable to stop.

"T-teddy bear?" choked Nick, through his chuckles.

Grant simply shook his head madly, like a wet dog, splattering the others in martini.

"Right, Jonas's go now," Grant said, sitting down again and adding to the money pile to make it total $40.

Jonas turned pale and clutched his beer, knuckles turning white.

With some urging from Zach and Grant, he eventually got up and chose an envelope. He raised an eyebrow, looking sceptical.

"Alright, then… who's the girl?"

Zach scanned the room for a girl who would be right. Then, he spotted the perfect one.

"Her."

And that's when Jonas turned pale again.

He took a bit of coaxing to approach her, but finally did. She was the life of her group of friends; a real energetic beauty. She liked to flaunt her beautiful curves.

Nick chuckled at his friend's nervousness.

"Um…. Excuse me," began Jonas, quietly. The raven-haired beauty turned to see him and smiled.

"Hey, check out this cutie," she said to her friends, who laughed warmly.

"Uhh." He swallowed, turned red and looked discretely back at the table he'd come from. "Could I have your picture? You see, I need something to show Santa what I want for Christmas…"

Zach, Grant and Nick expected her to flip out, but she just 'aww'ed along with her friends. That is until a _huge _biker bloke came along and put his arm around her waist, protectively.

"Someone botherin' ya, Corinne?" he asked, gruffly, sizing up Jonas, who looked terrified.

"No…" whispered Jonas, who turned to leave.

But as he was about to walk away, Corinne slipped something into his pocket, smiled and mouthed, _"Call me."_

When Jonas reached the table again, everyone was stunned as he placed the phone number in the centre with the $40.

"Well, Zach's turn now…" Jonas said, vaguely, still stunned.

Zach just smirked.

"It seems flattery works better than most things," he half-laughed.

Grant handed him an envelope and watched him rip it open.

"I forgot to ask you Grant, how was your pee?" Zach asked, while unfolding the piece of paper.

"Oh, satisfactory," replied Grant, indifferently.

Zach nodded, reading the paper. He cocked an eyebrow and said, "The rich approach, eh?"

Nick laughed and pointed to an innocent-looking, short, brunette. "That one."

Zach stood up, downed his beer and approached her, walking through the dance-floor. He sat down in an empty chair next to her.

"You probably should know I'm not really this tall, I'm just sitting on my wallet…" he told her, casually.

She just looked sceptically at him.

"Right… and how about you go buy yourself a hooker, 'cause you got no chance with me," she sneered back.

Nick had to physically drag Zach away from her.

"I was close to cracking her!" he insisted as he straightened his shirt, sitting down once again.

Grant was busy flirting with the athletic barmaid, who had just delivered their fifth round – and Jonas's second – to their table.

Once he'd got her number and she'd left, Nick pulled a second envelope from the pile, leaving two remaining.

He scoffed as he read it, but turned to the tall, slender female Jonas picked out for him.

Once he got near her, he asked if she wanted to stay the night at his place, and before she could reply, he used the envelope's line, "Go on, be unique and different – go against the crowd; say yes."

She laughed prettily at this, but declined politely, telling Nick she'd already got a boyfriend.

Considering her kind rejection, the guys decided Nick hadn't completely failed, but he hadn't completely succeeded either, and so was forced to place $10 in the middle.

"Perhaps guys shouldn't make themselves out as players…" commented Nick.

Grant wanted to go last, seeing as Jonas refused to go again. So Zach picked up the second-last envelope. He read the sentence briefly and turned to Grant, who nodded to the dirty-blonde-haired female a few tables away from theirs.

Zach meandered casually over to her and leaned on her table.

"Do you work for a mailing company?" Zach questioned.

She looked incredibly puzzled. "No…"

"Oh, 'cause I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package earlier…"

The slap was unusually loud and vicious, leaving a _huge _red mark on Zach's cheek.

He walked back to his buddies, rubbing the smarting, soon-to-be-bruise.

Jonas, Grant and Nick were doubled over in laughter.

"She's a fucking psycho!" Zach exclaimed, making them laugh harder.

He threw $20 into the pile, shoved Grant out of his seat and downed a mug of beer quickly.

"Good luck, Grant. You're lucky last… or not…" Nick said, handing him the final envelope.

Grant tore it open, read it and turned to look at the female Nick was pointing to.

She was incredibly hot.

"Pwoarrrh!" was all Grant could say.

He weaved his way over to her and sidled up close.

In her ear, he whispered in her ear, "If you were a booger, I'd pick you first."

And Nick, Jonas and Zach didn't blame her for kneeing him in the groin.

They let out a collective "Oooh…" and Jonas had to help Grant hobble back to his chair.

"Well… cheers to a failure of a night!" exclaimed Nick, incredibly amused, raising his mug of beer.

The others let out loud cheers and _clink_ed his glass with their own.

Jonas was happy with his $110.

Grant was really wasted.

Zach's cheek still hurt.

And Nick was pretty pleased with how it all had turned out.

What an interesting way to spend a Saturday night…

**Right so, I just thought this up last night and wrote it down. Sorry if it's pathetic, but I wanted to write a one-shot about the guys all together. I hope some of it made you smile or even laugh… and yeah, hope you enjoyed it **


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